Diana, the Dangerously Bloody
by Sweetpanda12
Summary: I rated this thing M for a reason, ya know. Threeshot Songfic. What happened those years for Kowalski, when the rest of his team were/were not secretly hoping that he and Doris will come together again? When Kowalski was back with Doris? What about his team-mates? A lot. Songs: Dirty Diana, Dangerous, Blood On The Dance Floor. Again, MJ-Inspired. Title derived from the song titles.


**...**

**OKAY GUYS DON'T COME AT ME WITH THE PITCHFORKS FOR NOT UPDATING TRW, SUEMAGEDDON AND MY OTHER STORIES!**

**Ok, you don't have pitchforks? Phew. **

**Now listen up. **

**I was lacking inspiration for my stories, so I decided to do something new.**

**I couldn't help but think as I read over the stories which had Kowalski going out with another girl who isn't Doris, that it sounded very familiar to the MJ song Dirty Diana.**

**I was also reading them at a time where Kowalski is back with Doris, and reading those stories then turned Dirty Diana into Dangerous.**

**And then I remembered stories of the other characters going out with other OC's, when Rico already has Ms Perky, and Skipper is preferably single (though I ship Skilene xD), and Private is too naive and young to go out with any girl older than him, let alone do *ahem*. I then had a mental image of Kowalski warning his team-mates not to follow his footsteps, which then the lyrics for Blood On The Dance Floor came up.**

**Storing them in my mental locker, I plotted how I should set this out and write it. I decided to write the songfic-threeshot according to the order they were first made by Michael, Dirty Diana in the Bad Era (the Past), Dangerous in the Dangerous Era [though it originally was first heard in the HIStory Era] (the Present) and Blood On The Dance Floor in the HIStory (in the mix) Era (the Future). **

**Also this is my first humanized PoM fic. **

**And so here it is. **

**I have no offence to any of the OC's made for those specific characters I have mentioned above. **

**I also do not own the songs, Dreamworks, or PoM. Or nick for that matter.**

* * *

_**The Past:**_

_**Dirty Diana.**_

* * *

As Kowalski lay in bed, ready for the girl to come and jump in, he noticed a look on her face that gave alarming shivers up his spine. That smile. It reminded him of...

Doris, the love of his life.

How could he have been so stupid?

Then he realised who the girl was. The girl was really a young woman named Diana, who was famous for seducing men in their own beds.

"Um, excuse me for a second, I need to go to the bathroom." Lame excuse, but Kowalski now knew he had to get the hell out of here.

"Why?" Diana asked charmingly, deviously smiling, "Don't you want to hang out with me? Baby, try me. You need me, don'tcha?"

Kowalski was panting heavily now, he had to get out fast. He leaped out the bed and ran to the bathroom, grabbing his suit on the way and slamming the door shut and locking it, hastily shoving his shirt, trousers and shoes on before climbing out the window which was there and out to the Park.

When he was sure she wasn't going to follow him, he leaned against a tree and sighed in relief, his head in his hands. God, how long had he been doing this for? Without his leader or his fellow team-mates or his girlfriend knowing? But he was glad enough to be the only man alive to survive Diana's seducing.

Then he realised he was dead wrong. He had fallen for her an earlier time.

* * *

**_A few weeks earlier..._**

* * *

"Ok, we're supposed to sign a couple papers to have a new recruit in here?" Skipper asked, staring at the contracts that were in front of him.

"Affermative sir. I'll leave you a few minutes to read it over." Kowalski had then walked off back to the lab, just as Skipper was muttering about a familiar name.

A few minutes later, Skipper strode into the lab, announcing, "We're not going to sign it."

"What? But Skipper, if you do that, Base'll-"

"The recruit form was not sent from Base. It was forged. My gut told me that the moment I read Diana Deirt's name on those papers."

"Who's Diana Deirt?"

Skipper gave his second in command a dark look before speaking in a low tone. "Someone you do not want to play with. Manfredi and Johnson barely escaped her horrific ways."

Kowalski nodded like he understood, but he forgot this conversation as he went off for a party that night. There, he encountered a pretty girl who was smiling seductively at him. He tried to keep away from her, but she was stuck to him almost like glue, and she kept begging for her to join with him. In the end he found himself enjoying the night in bed, being stuck with her. Having forgotten the warning and conversation with Skipper entirely.

As Kowalski sneaked away from the room where the girl was now sleeping, realised he actually enjoyed the night. He grinned. He had to do that sometime again soon.

* * *

_**Now...**_

* * *

Kowalski realised he'd been an idiot all this time. Cheating on Doris. Not listening to Skipper. Now he realised he was the worst example for Private to follow.

Kowalski mentally slapped himself and steeled his will. No more nights out and no more parties.

Tonight he would face his fears and finish this thing for once and for all.

He pulled himself up and did a sturdy march towards the bathroom window where he escaped. No more hiding and fearing, he mentally ordered himself as he marched up to the window, climbed through, straightened his clothes, and marched into the room, where Diana was waiting for him, thankfully now in clothes.

"We lost every minute," Diana shrugged, "And I need to return to my apartment, since I got so tired of waiting."

"Go on then," Kowalski ordered in a soldierly way, "I have to be off."

"But," Diana interrupted serenadingly, "I absolutely despise sleeping alone, so why can't ya come sweetie?"

"I have someone wishing for me to be home. And that someone is most likely worried now, I didn't say that I was fine and paid a call to them." Kowalski said briskly, giving a cold stare to the woman who started the whole thing.

She strode to him, grabbing his hands and stroking them. "Baby," She purred, "I'm can be all for ya this one night."

Kowalski yanked them out of her red-nail-polished hands. He strode to the nearest phone and rang his leader. "Skipper, you there?"

"Kowalski! Where the hell were you? Private was getting worried sick and-"

"Not much time sir, I'm fine! Could you let me in? I forgot the key when I went out."

"Fine then, just tell us-"

Skipper never got to finish the phone call as Diana grabbed the phone and devilishly answered, "He ain't coming back darl, he's with me now!"

Too Bad Diana hit the speakerphone on and missing the 'hang-up' button as she pounced on Kowalski as started licking his face.

"SKIPPER!" Kowalski yelled, "IT'S DIANA! SHE TRAPPED ME IN HERE! DAMN IT HER CLAWS! HEEEEEEELP!"

"HOLD ON KOWALSKI! WE'RE COMING FOR YA!"

That wasn't the leader he knew, Kowalski thought in part-relief, part-encouragement, as he shoved Diana off his body.

He knew that Doris was not only going to save him, she was going to kick Diana in the ass.

* * *

**And that therefore concludes the first of the threeshot. You know now why I rated this thing M. It's not a really a nice image for my usual audience.**

**I admit, I was one of them crazy fangirls who had an OC only to be Kowalski's 'Other Half', but I had a feeling that this would end in "The Penguin Who Loved Me". So then, Krys went under dramatic changes and just became friends with Kowalski while she was in love with one of his clones. (Trololol, you didn't expect that, did ya? XD)**

**So, I own nothing but the idea and the plots.**

**EDIT: 25th September, 2013: -_- Had to delete the lyrics due to a rule.**


End file.
